he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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