trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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