I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Randomize
