I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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