you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
