I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
