addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
