After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i think i have herpe
just one?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
