Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
