I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
