College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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