Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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