Got a toothbrush?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
