He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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