so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
