You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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