I'm sorry my penis didn't work
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
honey bunches of taint.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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