In the future we'll all be gay
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
