she woke up with a sticky ear
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
