Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
