Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
