Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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