Little spoons don't ask big questions
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
love makes seman taste better
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Randomize
