wat bout pragnant strippers??
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
