I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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