Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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