It's like a parade of train wrecks.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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