So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
