i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
