i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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