So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
