apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
