Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Houston, we have a blender
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
