If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
