I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
