I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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