do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I think your dad took our porno
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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