my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
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