We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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