Who did Billy Mays play for?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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