I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Blow job season was short but glorious.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
