Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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