I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
