you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
