Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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