Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
