Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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