he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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