it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Too much gin, very little bucket
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
