Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
