yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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