I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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