Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
