Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
